My Bloody Valentine (2009 remake)

MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009 version)

A slasher film in which the kills are all variations on “death by pickaxe,” the 2009 incarnation of My Bloody Valentine is reasonably stimulating but has an ending that might cause some viewers to cry foul due to the extreme measures the filmmakers take to make it clear that one character is not the murderer only to reveal in the climax that the individual in question is in fact the killer.  The story begins with a prologue (set ten years before the bulk of the narrative) in which a coal miner named Harry goes on a killing spree.  He’s presumed dead, but fresh bodies start to turn up a decade later as the anniversary (Valentine’s Day) of the murders approaches.  One fellow who survived the massacre is Tom, who returns to town in the present to sell off the mine (his father owned it before he did).  His ex-girlfriend Sarah is now married to the Sheriff (Axel).  There’s a lot of nonsense about the politics of selling the mine and the impact it will have on the community, plus some beats about the love triangle and the tensions of Sarah’s old flame being back.  Assorted characters get picked off, and an epilogue sets up a sequel.

My Bloody Valentine is an ensemble piece with no single clear protagonist (Sarah assumes that role for the bulk of the third act).  My main complaint is that the kills are all so similar (there’s only so much you can do with a pickaxe).  The musical score is a bit on-the-nose with stings designed to jolt you just as a scary image appears on screen.  This is one case where I perceive a remake as superior to the original, but that’s faint praise as I really dislike the 1981 original.  My Bloody Valentine is fine if you want to see a fellow in a miner’s outfit run around offing various individuals with a pickaxe for ninety-five minutes.  I’ve seen worse.